FAQ

I’m so sorry that you’re struggling! If you are in a crisis, please reach out for emergency assistance immediately. Please call 911 or see this page for a list of crisis centers that you can call or text.

Regardless of whether you're in crisis or not, consider finding professional help. You can learn coping mechanisms and work through issues on your own, but why do it alone if you have access to someone that can guide you through it and help you make the most progress?

If you don't have easy access to professional help for whatever reason, try looking around online for other support in your area. There may be discounted clinics or free support groups that you can sign up for. Many institutions also have self-pay programs with lower rates.

In general, understanding what your pain points and triggers are is a good place to start. If you can figure out what parts of your life are influencing you the most, you can either adjust those things or at least how you interact with or process them. Building that self awareness will not only help you figure out what you need to change in order to start feeling better, it's laying the groundwork for emotional regulation skills. As cliche as it sounds, journaling is a great way to work through this. Writing out what we're feeling, struggling with, reacting to, etc. can help us get a handle on our mental state.

The next thing I'd suggest is research! Self help books can be a great tool and a published book is more likely to have accurate information than blog posts online. Of course, though, the next best thing is the internet. There's endless amounts of content online describing different coping strategies. Just be sure to vet your sources and be wary of anyone trying to sell you anything, whether that's a supplement, diet plan, experimental therapy, master class, etc. Any drastic changes to your lifestyle should ALWAYS be discussed with a professional first, especially if this is a decision you are making on behalf of a child or someone in your care.

A therapist is someone who helps you identify issues in your life and works with you to resolve or manage them. They can diagnose you but they cannot prescribe you medication. Therapy visits often last about 45 minutes to an hour and happen as frequently as you need them, often weekly or every two weeks.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor or nurse practitioner that is specifically trained in mental disorders and psychiatric medication. Their main function is to prescribe medication and typically do not offer any kind of talk therapy. Because they are medical doctors with specialized training, they have a good grasp on how any physical health conditions might be affecting your mental health, maybe more so than a general practitioner. After your initial consultation visits will generally only last 15-30 minutes. These appointments could be every 4-6 weeks when you're first starting out, and every 1-3 months or longer once you have an established medication regimen.

I can’t tell you which you need personally. If you know that you need help managing your mental health but you aren't sure if your treatment plan should include medication or not, start with therapy. Therapists can be easier to access, and in my experience, can have shorter waiting lists than psychiatrists. Your work or school may even have a program that offers free therapy or counseling services. If you know that you want to try medication, heading straight to a psychiatrist or even a general practitioner could be a good move for you.

You don't have to pick one or the other! It’s good practice to be enrolled in therapy while being treated by a psychiatrist. Taking medication while doing no work to develop healthy coping mechanisms is kind of like exercising to lose weight but eating nothing but junk food. It can work, but it’s not helping you sustain a healthy lifestyle.

If you're interested in medication as well as therapy, it might be a good idea to start looking around for a psychiatrist that is covered by your insurance first, since they typically have longer waitlists. Then you can focus on establishing care with a therapist in the meantime. However, the order is truly up to your needs and circumstances. There's no wrong way to do it.

Not every professional will be a good fit for you. I know I've had my fair share of bad care teams ranging from rude and dismissive to downright unprofessional and dangerous. If you have the means to do so, you are absolutely allowed to switch providers until you find someone that makes you feel heard and taken care of. This is especially important in therapy. If you aren't comfortable working with someone or you can't have open and honest discussions with them, you aren't going to make nearly as much progress as you could be or you may even be set back.

If you feel like you aren't getting what you need out of your appointments, say so! Tell them what your goals are, what you need help with / what you expect from them, and what is / isn't working for you. If no change comes of it or they react badly, it's probably time to move on.

If you're covered by insurance, your insurance website will have a directory of providers to choose from. If you are a patient at a larger facility you can usually request to be switched to a different person that works there, which will most likely be a much easier transition than starting with a completely new care team.

If you're switching psychiatrists I would recommend keeping appointments with your current provider until you start treatment with someone else. You don't want to end up unable to get your medication if something falls through. My area has emergency clinics that will give you one month of medication if you are between providers but they won't give you any more than that. You may also be able to request several months of medication from your current provider. When I moved across the country, my old provider gave me 3 months of scripts so that I had ample time to find someone new once I arrived in my new state.

When going to a new facility it's always a good idea to bring any previous records along with you. Call the front desk of your current or past provider and tell them that you need a copy of your records. They'll probably have you sign a release form that grants them permission to release your files. You can grant permission for the files to be sent directly to your new provider, but I personally prefer to collect the records myself so that I can have my own copy. I then bring a copy with me to new appointments so that I can either give it to my new doctor to keep or allow them to make a copy of it. This also makes it so I can have my files easily accessible whenever I need them and I don't have to call my old providers every time I go to a new facility.

First of all, know that your experiences are valid whether you have a diagnosis or not. What matters is that you’re experiencing those things now, diagnosis or not, and that deserves to be acknowledged.

Some symptoms like depression and anxiety can be easy to recognize but a professional can help you figure out the root of your issues. Genetics, environmental factors, trauma and stress, and so many other minute details play into your mental wellbeing. Determining what combination of factors are playing into your personal circumstances can help narrow down what exactly the issue is and how it can best be resolved or treated and managed. The cluster of symptoms that you experience will sometimes point to a specific diagnosis. If that’s the case then your doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist will compare your situation with the DSM-5 criteria for that particular suspected disorder, which you must meet in order to officially receive that diagnosis. Whether you fit into a particular box or not, they can get you started with some kind of treatment plan.

In my experience, many doctors value finding the treatment strategies you respond to more than preemptively fixating on a diagnosis. This could be for a variety of reasons like keeping your record clean for future government employment, wanting to observe your symptoms for a longer period of time before making the call, or they're worried the label will hinder you. Personally, I've cycled through several professional diagnoses as my mental illnesses evolved. In that time, trial and error with different treatment strategies helped narrow down the cause of my issues. Your healthcare provider legally has to specify what diagnosis you are receiving treatment for in order to get paid by your insurance company but that diagnosis can be broad or change later when they know more about your situation.

It's important to know that there's no single treatment that works for everyone with a particular symptom or disorder. Treatment strategies vary from person to person, which is why consulting professionals is so important. They'll have an idea of the best course of action to take and can help you through the trial and error process of finding what works best for you.

If you think there’s something up with your brain then I urge you to seek help and support. It might feel scary, but the right help can improve your quality of life. Get in contact with a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, or even your general practitioner or school nurse.

If you have a suspicion about a particular condition, you've probably already researched it.

Some things to avoid when doing your own research:

Taking all data as a fact. The internet is full of horrible advice from self-proclaimed experts. Even some professional opinions are outdated. Cross-referencing your information with multiple valid sources is recommended.
Starting a treatment plan without being informed on possible consequences that apply to you specifically. Even if a treatment suggestion comes from a reputable source, it will not work for everyone and can even be harmful to some. Be extremely cautious of dietary supplements/vitamins/OTC medications and diet plans. Even your doctor may not be able to advise you on it without diagnostic testing like bloodwork.
Pathologizing everything. Not every behavior of yours requires an explanation. Remember that being a human is hard and none of us are perfect. Focus on behaviors or symptoms that are a recurring, harmful theme in your life.

Some things to do:

Record your symptoms. I cannot stress enough how valuable this data is when looking for patterns. This can help you realize things about yourself and is absolutely invaluable when seeking professional opinions. Write detailed explanations of your experiences, including dates and times, possible contributing factors, severity levels, and anything else you can think of.
Take notes. It can be helpful to record where you learned certain information and if that information is confirmed by multiple sources. It also makes discussing it with others easier.
Use the resources you have access to. To reiterate, the right doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist can help improve your life dramatically. They can offer insight that you cannot always find yourself and offer you tools and treatments that you cannot access otherwise. But until your circumstances allow you to do so, do what you need to do to keep becoming the best version of yourself.
Embrace what works for you. If you find that certain (healthy) coping mechanisms are useful to you, please utilize them! If you find solace and support in a particular community, accept the comfort! Build your personal toolbox.

If you feel skeptical of a self-diagnosis, keep in mind that from an outsider's perspective, privately researching and then publicly accepting a diagnosis may look like jumping to a conclusion and building an identity around it. In reality, they are likely are spending hours upon hours researching and dissecting themselves in a confusing journey of self discovery. Give people credit for that work and the space to explore further.

Owning up to neurodivergency or mental illness can be extremely uncomfortable and alienating. We're quick to assume that someone is announcing it for attention, but fail to remember that societal repercussions are almost a guarantee. It's a scary road to walk alone and sometimes even more terrifying to share.

On top of it all, no one expects to mourn the person they used to be or thought they were. I don't think anyone is fully prepared for the amount of effort required to restructure your life around a disability.

Despite this, ignoring the issue can be detrimental. If you feel compelled to deny someone's self-diagnosis because it doesn't align with your perspective or you're afraid to face the negative implications, you should do some self reflection before engaging in a conversation with this person.

What are the consequences of refusing to hear them out?
Are you feeling guilt or shame that is making you shut down?
Do you have preconceived notions about a particular diagnosis that could be wrong?
Why don't you trust someone to be the expert on their own experience?

‍While it might be troubling to learn that someone you love is struggling, supporting them through it and helping them find proper care can quite literally save their life. If you genuinely want to learn more so that you can better understand and support someone, express that. Asking questions with an open mind and educating yourself will be beneficial to both of you.

Hear them out. Remember that they are the expert on their own experience. There's also a good chance that they know more about the suspected condition than you do.
Let them lead the conversation. Ask clarifying questions instead of steamrolling them with your opinions.
Be respectful and tactful in how you express your concerns.
Ask how this affects their life. What is the best way you can support them? What are their next steps? Do they need any changes or accommodations?

Disclaimer: you aren't always entitled to a detailed explanation on something so personal, nor are you entitled to the labor required to educate you so you don't have to put in the legwork to research things yourself. Every situation has a unique balance.‍

As Verywell Health puts it, “a neurotypical person is an individual who thinks, perceives, and behaves in ways that are considered to be "normal" by the general population." Neurodivergent means that the brain has something going on with it that the "average" person isn't expected to have.

The terms were originally coined with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD, formerly Asperger Syndrome) in mind, used to describe people with and without this difference without having to call the larger of the two groups things like "average" or "normal". Being neurodivergent isn't wrong, it's just different. Being neurotypical isn't the default "correct" way to exist. They are two equal counterparts. That's why we have words to describe each group rather than only using specific language to describe one group and setting it apart from the whole.

Even though these terms were coined to describe the autism spectrum and other neurodevelopmental disorders like ADHD, it's growing into an umbrella term that covers mental illness as well. Because these words have been co-opted, it is now common to see the word "allistic", which specifically means someone without autism. Someone can be neurodivergent and allistic by some definitions.

It's important to note that these are words used by communities and individuals, they aren't medical terms because there are no hard lines that define them. Typically "neurodivergent" is used to describe people whose symptoms cause disruption in their daily lives, which leads to the inability to conform to the general population's neurotypical standards.

It's vital to remember that "disability" is not a dirty word. Some people dislike the term "neurodivergent" as they believe it downplays the struggles that one faces due to their diagnosis. The fact of the matter is that we live in a world built for neurotypical people. Even if our world was more accommodating, many neurodivergent people's struggles don't just disappear when someone's unique needs are met, they suffer from very real deficits and challenging symptoms that would have a negative impact on their quality of life in any scenario.

Ultimately it's up to the individual to describe their own experience. I use the term "neurotypical" frequently as an easy way to reference people who don't share any of my struggles. I rotate between a variety of other terms for describing the "neurodivergent" depending on the context.

FYI-- psychosis is an umbrella term that includes symptoms like hallucinations, delusions, and related behavioral changes.

It’s not unheard of for psychotic disorders to cause people to do harm, just as it can happen with any person experiencing strong emotions, but the mentally ill are statistically more likely to be the subject of abuse than to abuse someone themselves. If any harm is done it is typically self-inflicted.

Take this study excerpt for example: "In this study, the prevalence of violence among those with a major mental disorder who did not abuse substances was indistinguishable from their non-substance abusing neighbourhood controls. A concurrent substance abuse disorder doubled the risk of violence. Those with schizophrenia had the lowest occurrence of violence over the course of the year (14.8%), compared to those with a bipolar disorder (22.0%) or major depression (28.5%). Delusions were not associated with violence, even 'threatcontrol override' delusions that cause an individual to think that someone is out to harm them or that someone can control their thoughts."

This study then notes a couple previous studies that link mental illness to criminal activity, which is not always the same as violence. It's not uncommon for serious mental disorders to cause risky behavior which could result in an arrest, but just remember that the police exist to uphold the law, which mostly protects property and not people. Only about 1% of the US population is affected by Schizophrenia but as much as 20% of the homeless population is. People turn to crime when they have nothing left to lose and the need to survive outweighs the risk of punishment. If you hear of a mentally ill person acting as a criminal stop to think about why that might be the case, whether it's lack of access to basic necessities, no access to healthcare that keeps them stable, or simply being alone and hurting with no support whatsoever. Those things would be unbearably difficult and painful for any neurotypical person, let alone someone already battling for their sanity 24/7.

My professional diagnosis (confirmed by multiple psychiatrists) is:

Generalized anxiety disorder
ADHD
PTSD
Bipolar with psychotic features or possibly schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type-- we're still figuring this out as my episodes come and go

The mental symptoms that I struggle with the most are:

Issues with executive functioning ("time blindness", processing information, prioritizing and staying on task, etc)
Sensory processing issues (getting sensory overload easily, trouble understanding speech without a visual, etc.)
Brain fog
Crippling anxiety and extremely intense panic attacks
Episodic depression, hypomania, and mixed episodes (depression + mania symptoms at the same time)
Paranoia and intrusive thoughts
Occasional hallucinations

I also live with physical health issues:

Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS): a type of autonomic (nervous system) dysfunction that makes it difficult to control heart rate and blood pressure, especially when standing.
Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS): a connective tissue disorder that causes a wide variety of weird problems.
Endometriosis: an excruciatingly painful condition that binds organs together and causes immune reactions and inflammation issues. I had an excision surgery to remedy this, so thankfully, it is no longer an issue (and will hopefully stay that way).

This seems like a lot, and it is. But these disorders frequently come as a packaged deal:

About 50% of people with ADHD have a comorbid anxiety disorder.
About 80% of people with PTSD have at least one comorbid mental disorder.
Many people who have experienced some kind of psychosis first went through significant amounts of trauma that triggered the condition, along with PTSD. Unfortunately I'm part of that club.
POTS, EDS, and endometriosis very frequently go hand-in-hand, for reasons that are still unknown. Because they all cause nebulous symptoms, they can easily be misdiagnosed or dismissed. I've been lucky enough to come across the right doctors who recognized the pattern in my symptoms.
I was likely living with undiagnosed POTS for years, then all hell broke loose after having COVID (it is well recognized that there is a link between COVID and POTS but it is still being researched-- understandable considering how novel this issue is)
Many people with neurodevelopmental disorders also have EDS. This is another correlation that is recognized but still awaiting further research.
Physical and mental health affect each other more than we realize. My body started falling apart and affecting daily life in my early 20s, of course I'm anxious and depressed.

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